When Two become THREE

Plot twist; Lemba Princess on the way!

Darling Husband always wanted a son as our first child while I on the other hand wanted a girl. After the loss of our first pregnancy and over a year of trying (our testimony and story here). My perspective and my prayer changed; whichever gender came first was no longer an issue. As long my womb was blessed, and the baby was healthy. Late 2019, hope came knocking bringing good news. We were excited and looked forward to welcoming a new family member in this home of two. Due to our previous experience and being cautioned by the Holy spirit, it became a private affair until vision was birthed into a reality. The journey began; symptoms came, and appointments followed suit. Our first ultrasound was on the 12th week, darling Husband and I were convinced that it was a boy judging by the ‘mythical signs’.  After 20 weeks of being ‘certain’ that we were having a son we reported for our 2nd ultrasound to check for anomalies and to know the gender. Father to be made it in the nick of time. I was already prepped on the table and the sonographer had started to check the measurements. At the first sight of the baby the sonographer noted that the baby had beautiful lips. He steps in the room when she is checking the hands and fingers. She noted that baby had long fingers…At this point Mr. Is elated and he quickly confirms that those are his fingers. A quick glance at him; I can see his eyes shimmer with happiness as he adjusts himself on the seat with pride. Every measurement is taken. Baby is doing fine and well within the growth range; I murmur a prayer, Lord am grateful. Finally, we are asked if we would like to know ‘What we are having’. We both answer in unison ‘yes’ otherwise if it were routine check-up DH would be at work. This was “THE APPOINTMENT” in our books. She tries scanning through, baby is facing back so it is hard. After a few minutes of staring at the screen she says, “I see a white line“. It is our first time, so we do not know what that means. A few seconds into it she utters “it seems you are having a girl“. I realise a nervous laugh and slowly turn towards Mr. I spot the question on his face more like check again please. The sonographer does a bit of more checks and she requests that I cough.

Without hesitation she announces “yep, it’s a girl. Congratulations!!!”

Darling Husband seems taken aback for a split of a second. He has a calm demeanour unless you know him you would not tell. A few minutes later, the examination ends, and we gather ourselves quickly exiting the room. I must use the restroom; we do not say much to each other during our short walk to the reception area. I excuse myself and leave him standing in the middle of the reception looking perplexed. A few minutes later I emerge, and he is still standing there. ‘I wonder what he is thinking’. I pick some free mummy goodies and ask him if we can go. He asks which way and I take the lead… Outside the hospital corridor, I let out a little chuckle… I know he was hoping for a boy instead of a girl. With a bit of sarcasm, in his voice he asks what seem to be funny. He reminds me that this was my desire from the first day we talked about our children (he might be thinking I did this on purpose). I ask him how he feels about it…. He says he is okay, but I can feel his light dimmed a little. We reach home, after eating. He decides to take a nap… Mr. needed to reboot. No longer a prince but a princess. He is reminded of the time we were praying over us getting married. God had revealed to him that our first child would be a beautiful baby girl. An hour later I wake him up with kisses, reminding him that we are going to have a little girl. He settles and declares that indeed we are having a little Princess who will be running around. He is once again thrilled. Our little girl is coming soon, he will be an amazing dad. He has looked forward to this for so many years. God has blessed him; He has restored that which was lost before.

This picture was taken a month before we knew the gender of our baby. I got into an empty bus and sat at the back, my normal preferred sit. I saw the bottle and thought of the coincidence to find a baby bottle at the back when most mothers sit at the front with the prams. As I observed the bottle, I had a voice tell me to take a picture of it, after all I was pregnant. After the ultrasound, three days later the Holy spirit reminded me of this picture. The baby bottle was Pink!!

And to the journey of parenthood we say Amen… God is Faithful.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
(God’s masterpiece)
Ephesians 2:10

Valleys & Hills to Motherhood

“The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother”

They say every mother has a story to tell. Well, allow me to include you in this journey of praying for a miracle, asking God for a baby. A prayer that renewed my faith and led to divine alignment as well as enlightenment.

We welcomed our darling daughter on 12th July at 9:25 p.m. she was overdue by eleven days. However, am believer that Jesus Christ is always on time. Therefore, anything with God’s imprint/Word on it can never be late. Our B-E-A-U-tiful princess came at the appointed date and time.

The journey to becoming a mother was not easy on my part, having suffered a traumatic miscarriage two years exactly before the birth of our daughter. Then came the ‘trying’ period in between before her conception. I can attest that this was something I never anticipated. I never once thought that I would get to a place where I would seek my Father’s presence and say Dear Lord, if it is thy will according to the desires within my heart would you please bestow me your honour and make me a mother. It seems farfetched then being that I thought babies we were made as easy as ABC and that it was all up to us the ‘babymakers’. This season of my life has brought Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” to a deeper spiritual awakening. God chose us before conception. He knew my daughter would be here, she is not an accident, each of her needs have already been met, her provisions and protection have been set in place. All under one covenant, the Lamb of God Jesus Christ.

Note, when troubles continue long, hopes have been often frustrated, and all creature-confidence fall, it is not strange if the spirit sink; and nothing but an active faith in the power, promise and providence of God will keep them from quite dying away. the height of prosperity to which, notwithstanding this, they shall be advanced: “therefore, because things have come thus to the last extremity, prophesy to them, and tell them, now is God’s time to appear for them.”,

O dry bones, Hear the Word of God Come Alive! Ezekiel 37:1-14

This prayer was made because there was a deep desire that only the creator of heaven and earth could fulfil. I desired a baby at time when my doctor was saying I was not medically fit to even carry one. Her advice was ‘wait’ at the same time there was a lot of consultation within my medical team if I should even go ahead and ‘try’. I felt deflated and hopeless after the medical review. I had to wait! I remember leaving the hospital feeling desperate. In that moment I stated my conversation with god. Why would I have this desire, yet it appeared impossible now. The Holy Spirit calmly instructed me go ahead you are ready. Contrary to doctor’s opinion. The greatest physician steps into the scene and He says “with the Father all things are possible” Matthew 19:26.

 

When I reflect on this period where I was actively trying for a baby, it dawns on me how human beings are limited in all capacity. More so, when you want something so bad; our walk holds a selfish perspective…and that was me. I would feel a tug in my gut when someone would tell me how they got pregnant by mistake or It just happened. It got to a point where I would just try and process how all this was happening to others and not me. Then other times, I would remember my situation was not anything and that at least there was hope since I had conceived before. I would encourage myself that there were women waiting on the Lord for years, an evidence through His Word. I also remember becoming anxious during my menstrual cycle; I would catch myself disappointed at the sight of it all. Every month would be “okay this is it” Hence, my mind would sometimes play tricks on me and I would exhibit early like pregnancy symptoms. I bought a lot of pregnancy test kits which am sure my husband saw in the bin 🤦‍. This was such a testing and trying phase, I believe at some point I was losing my sanity. I thank God for a wonderful partner, he grounded me through his patience, always relieving the pressure i felt and reminding that it will happen. That it was up to God and not us. We were just channels and vessels He uses to bring His own children in this world. We had no hand in it! However, to be honest I did drive him crazy with all the positions among other things such; as today is that day, am ovulating. All this sounds hilarious now but at that time it was a serious issue. He gave me a good man.

Anyway, my turning point came when I saw this lady, I follow on social media give a testimony on how she was expecting yet the odds were against her medically. We serve a living God, our ability to conceive rests in His hands. He alone can open and shut our wombs. Rather than rejoice on her behalf this time my heart was pained. I asked God how comes am still struggling? I had been desiring and praying this for over a year Lord. Then in that moment, the Holy Spirit rebuked me. I remember I was in a bus and tears were streaming down my face. when I reached home, I went straight to my bedroom and repented before God. As I left His presence,  The Holy Spirit whispered Romans 8:28 All things work together for good. I rested my faith in Him no more letting comparison steal my joy. I stopped being crazy about becoming a mother and went back to enjoying my marriage. Building my foundation and just fostering myself spiritually. I wanted my womb blessed, but it was no longer my focal point. Months later the signs from God began backed by His Word… The Holy Spirit was on top of things, confirming everything so clearly, I thought I was moving mad. Then God put it my heart to talk to someone specific about my “trying” journey. Unbeknownst to me God had imprinted on her to look for me as well and help me in this venture. Two months in after all ‘this’ nothing happened. I was growing impatient. Thank God once again for a husband who is full of faith and supportive, he knew it would happen. Just like that in the third month from when God told to get ready and prepare. Just when we least expected, it happened.

We were expecting!!!

Children are indeed a heritage from the LORD,

and the fruit of the womb is His reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

so are children born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

He will not be put to shame

when he confronts the enemies at the gate

Psalm 127:3-5

 

dON’t LOOk bACk!

‘If God brought you out of a situation, stay out’

Anything that does not give you peace yet brings confusion and turmoil is not of God. When the time comes for release, the up and go moment. That window of opportunity is open….arise on your feet and run! Run like before. Run for sanity, your freedom and your awakening. For the devil is hot on your heels, he is breathing fire and he is coming after you. So, I say run for your dear life and do not attempt to look back like Noah’s wife or murmur like the children of Israelites. Perfect your Race since a generation depends on it. Where there is God; there is Peace, justice then righteousnes and above all there is Unconditional love. A love that treats us and among others: how to be kind to each other, be compassionate, be meek in our attitudes and grant Grace where our understanding is limited by experiences. Confines of our religion and dictations of our norms and culture. Show mercy even when law and society demanded of punishment by death. Because He is the epitome of one true example of how far and how great; love is willing to go and stretch for a reconciliation, adoption justification, sanctification and acceptance. He loves us. His plan is perfect, and His ways are mighty. For when He said pack it all up and leave this place, it is finished… a chapter closed. A scene shot to perfection. He is an author with the best script and a director who knows His casts to the detail. He knows how it should look in the end. Master obedience in Him, trust His word and peg your hope on His Mighty résumé. He has a plan, a way out. He will divide seas before you, slain giants with a single shot, bring down walls for you and make your enemies flea just from a sound of trumpet. He brings those in favour for your destiny. They will be angels in human form, ask for discernment to be able to tell the difference. A God who institutes relationships whether man or woman in our favour. Don’t lose sight of Him, the time is imminent. So perfect your race because the devil will never want you to rest until you reach that summit.

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7 Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.

Revelation 21:6-7

Leah: A Divinely favoured Woman

‘God loves the unloved’ Has anyone ever thought about Jacob’s first wife Leah? And would you ever imagine being in her situation? When I was growing up; I learnt about the love of story of Jacob and Rachel, while Leah was portrayed as a villain. From the beginning, scripture is intentional on how Rachel and…

by The Making of a Disciple

Rachel: a barren womb and a cold Heart

“There are four keys of which God has his hand, he entrusts neither with the angel nor seraphim; the clouds, the heart, the grave and the womb.”       We rarely take note of how patterns of spiritual warfare can affect the lineage of a family tree. Many are the times we assume that since it…

by The Making of a Disciple

Be Spirit Led

There’s something about God giving you an instruction and He backs it with His Word.  Romans 8:14-16 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about…

by The Making of a Disciple

Be Spirit Led

There’s something about God giving you an instruction and He backs it with His Word. 

Romans 8:14-16 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “ Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

Leah: A Divinely favoured Woman

‘God loves the unloved’

Has anyone ever thought about Jacob’s first wife Leah? And would you ever imagine being in her situation? When I was growing up; I learnt about the love of story of Jacob and Rachel, while Leah was portrayed as a villain. From the beginning, scripture is intentional on how Rachel and Jacob met. This is realized in Genesis 29:10 “When Jacob saw Rachel daughter of his uncle Laban, and Laban’s sheep, he went over and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered his uncle’s sheep”. Scripture further differentiates the level of beauty between the sisters described in Genesis 29:16-17 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. As we all know; when it comes marriage, though Jacob’s initial agreement was for Rachel. A deceptive pattern plays out in his life once again. Just as he deceived his father into getting Esau’s inheritance, his uncle tricks him into marrying his first daughter. By the time it’s dawn, it’s too late he has consummated the marriage with Leah and so he makes another agreement. Seven more years in exchange for Rachel hand. They say When a man truly loves a woman, he will do the impossible.

At this point, a serious rivalry between two sister manifests. Am certain Leah knowing her physical beauty was no match to her small sister’s…Her esteem must have been very low that when her father suggested that she takes her sister place she must have readily agreed. To grow up in household where people only see the beauty of one sister and not the other can be discouraging to the confidence of any little girl. Based on my own experience when we were growing up (my sister and I). There was a lot of comparison on our physical beauty. I was ‘labelled’ as a lesser beauty more of a “plain girl” while she received all the admiration on her beauty. Strangers and even family members would readily compliment my father on how his youngest daughter was Jaber. Now, imagine two young girls standing side by side. But only one receives compliments on her beauty while the other is left with questions in her mind such as what about me? Psychologically it affected my confidence level however, later in life I made peace with it as this was a chapter in my life that prepared me of what was to come. That though my sister’s beauty surpassed mine, God in His wisdom showed me that we were gifted differently. That our strengths were unmatched, and our attributes is what defined beauty. It was settled in my heart and after that my confidence was renewed. Well now they say I have bloomed pfft!!!

Looking back at Leah being eldest and growing up in the shadow of her younger sister’s beauty, could have reduced her to settle for anything without much thought of the consequences. Including her father’s devious plot which ruined his daughters’ happiness. I believe God ordained it for his divine plan, a household of two sister wives. Sharing a man whose heart and desire belongs to the youngest wife. Leah ‘trapped’ by customs and traditions which she had to obey. My assumption according to the story is that it was a tough marriage founded on duty and responsibility. There was no love, no desire and no affection Am sure they had sleeping arrangements and Jacob obliged out of duty, but his heart remained in Rachel’s tent. As a married woman, the worst thing that can ever happen to you is to know that though he is my husband I do not have his heart.

Nevertheless, this story is incredible because it depicts the nature of our loving Father, who is fair and just and just like that He balances the equation. Genesis 29:31 When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. He opened Leah’s womb but shut Rachel’s, she had the love of Jacob while Leah had her children. You also learn a lot on how these handmade women of God named their children. Leah’s first to third born expresses an attempt to connect to Jacob. However, we see she gives up at her fourth child Genesis 29:35 “She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So, she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.” She was tired of fighting or wanting to be noticed. It dawns on her that she could not wins Jacob’s heart no matter the number of children or even if they were male. His heart was not hers so, at the birth of Judah she returns praise to the Maker of all things and let’s go of the competition. Rachel has won!!! That is what we all think until her conversation with Jacob and you realize she was bitter in her heart, very angry and envious of her sister. Yet Jacob was hers, he loved her despite being childless. Leah seems never to capture her husband heart. In-fact, later God remembers Rachel and we see Jacob love for Joseph and Benjamin is an extension of her love for Rachel. The tribe of Judah from the womb of Leah unloved and not desired, births the ruler’s lineage. On which a divine kingdom is established, Leah was divinely blessed. A God who establishes a throne on someone Scripture describes of no beauty or attraction, that nothing in her appearance would make Jacob desire her. A genealogy establishing an everlasting royal kingdom, it was from Leah and Jacob. God loved Leah, His divine favour upon her though she was rejected by ‘carnal man’. He bestows on her an ultimate honour of birthing a royal and priestly tribe of Israel, a personification found in Christ hated and rejected.

The scepter will not depart from Judah,nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until he to whom it belongs[d] shall come and the obedience of the nations shall be his. He will tether his donkey to a vine, his colt to the choicest branch. he will wash his garments in wine, his robes in the blood of grapes. His eyes will be darker than wine, his teeth whiter than milk.

Genesis 49:10-12

Rachel: a barren womb and a cold Heart

“There are four keys of which God has his hand, he entrusts neither with the angel nor seraphim; the clouds, the heart, the grave and the womb.”      

We rarely take note of how patterns of spiritual warfare can affect the lineage of a family tree. Many are the times we assume that since it affected a past family member then its normal when it occurs again. In this case, we learn a pattern trickling down Abraham’s genealogy. Third generation of infertility catches up with Jacob’s second wife who was Rachel. The first precedent is observed when Abraham and Sarah struggle for years to have a child. Despite his wife’s doubt, God who is gracious fulfils His affirmed vow to His faithful servant. At the appointed time, the promise manifested, and they had their son Isaac in old age. However, at some point before the birth of Isaac. Sarah weary of waiting, exercises her own ‘wisdom’ based on a sceptic heart. She tries to help God in speeding up the process. Hence, offering Abraham her servant Hagar. Genesis 16:1-2 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; 2 so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” At the end it is clear that man-made plans are never concrete as the results are birthed from a short-sighted perspective.  Ishmael is born, his existence later breeds rivalry between the two women. The next couple we see to battle the same fate are Rebecca and Isaac. Genesis 25:21 “Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. Jacob and Esau came after twenty years of waiting.

Later in line we meet a memorable love story between Rachel and Jacob. This story is unique because the element of true love is displayed leaving no doubt. Genesis 29:20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. Nonetheless, the plot takes an interesting twist; whereas after time had elapsed and Jacob went ahead to lay claim on his prospective wife. Just like he deceived his father in giving him Esau’s blessings, his father in law duped him and handed over Leah instead. Realizing that there is no way out, he willingly agreed to work for another 7 years in exchange for Rachels hand. The depth of Jacob’s love for Rachel is undeniably deeper and beyond human explanation. The bible further describes it as the love that grew greater after he made her his wife.

However, despite her outer beauty which ‘alludes to the shining of her countenance’. Rachel’s inner beauty comes into question when she faced with the struggle of infertility. She knows she is in position of power unlike her sister Leah she has Jacob’s heart. Genesis 29:31 When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. Even though Leah could bear children, her marriage to Jacob was loveless. Roots of bitterness, strife and envy is buried inside Rachel’s heart which is directed towards her unloved sister. Her attitude seems perplexing, she has Jacobs heart and all the toiling Jacob is doing is because of her. While her sister on the other hand has nothing other than her children. Personally, this is a situation that would break any woman’s heart. To know for a fact that the father of your children has no affection towards you. Worst of all, is that he prefers another woman and, in this case, your own sister over you. It is the kind of rejection that bleeds one’s heart dry. God who is JUST sees all this and blesses Leah so that it can all balance. But Rachel’s mindset prevents her from having a happy life, she is desperate to be satisfied with becoming a mother. Jealousy and rivalry are bred between the sisters, this competition comes out evident through the naming of their children.

From a human perspective with all our fleshly desires, apart of me understand Rachel predicament. However, with more spiritual insight and wisdom allow me to say that Rachel was short-sighted, ungrateful and driven by human ambition of wanting all the glory. She lacked compassion; it was either all or nothing. My understanding is that both ladies had no option as they were bound by customs and tradition. Their father Laban had the power to exercise who gets married first, plus nowhere do we see any indication of Leah wanting Jacob. I doubt Leah or Rachel could overrule their father.

One thing stands out; Jealousy where an absence of contentment cripples the soul. Lack of satisfaction on Rachel’s part eventually mirrors the same pattern of conversation between Jacob’s grandparents Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 16:1-2). Genesis 30:1-3 When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” 2 Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” 3 Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” She was not just content with Jacob’s heart alone, she wanted desperately to rival her sister. This is revealed more on how she named the children of Jacob and her maid Bilhah. One can deduce that she was after her sister more than her husband. She painted a picture of how you can surpass me after all this… It’s a competition and I must win. From Rachel you realize physical beauty in nothing without a pure heart to accompany it. She never even loved her sister’s children. she was more concerned with what she lacked; her judgement clouded what she already had. Her spotlight was hers and hers alone. Instead she offers her maid so she can have her ‘own’ children. Eventually God remembers her, and she gives birth to her first son Joseph. But still, she lacks gratitude even before God who has been merciful to bless her. She instead names her son not with praise but with an entitled spirit ‘God will add her’. That was her expectation that God will fill her quiver with more arrows … Given her time of wait her first instinct should have been to dedicate her son to God but even at the point of delivery she still yearned to surpass her sister. We later see childbirth kills her at the birth of her second son Benjamin. I believe her approach towards her cup was half empty. Such a heart can never give thanks and praise to God. They are filled with pride for their reputation. The motive behind them asking for a blessing is to gloat towards others. They can have a whole world at their feet but will still be envious of the little their neighbour has. They have a spirit willing to die yet have what will glorify their reputation. Her physical beauty did not match her heart, which matters most.

When I look at Rachel am reminded of Hannah’s attitude while waiting. I see two ladies in similar situations however one with spiritual insights while the other is walking in flesh. The story of Leah verses Rachel is divinely ordained by a God who is most wise, holy and just. Eventually He brings out the good out of the evil. It is good to note that many of us strive for what we think will awe us just like Rachel’s heart. Thus, missed opportunity to rest in the contentment; misplaced worship hoping to find peace.

“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord. 2 “Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide,
    do not hold back; lengthen your cords,strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities.

Isaiah 54:1-3

I am the Lord your God

The Making of a Disciple

“I will show my greatness and Holiness”

Our God of zeal and fiery wrath. He who makes Himself known in the sight of man and all nations. You are great and Holy. When you speak, it shall surely come to pass. Display your glory and splendour over our lives, reminding us of your sovereignty. We repent on our unfaithfulness and wicked ways. Hide not your face from us. We plead for your compassion and mercies. For we ask that you may restore our souls back to the very first love. Pour out your Spirit on us, revive us once again and heal our hearts. Precious Lord Jesus Christ may your Grace meet us at our very point of need. Bless your great and Holy name.

Amen

9 He replied, “Go your way, Daniel, because the words are rolled up and sealed until the time of the end. 10 Many will…

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“We knew God before you”

The Making of a Disciple

“The gospel is so simple that small children can understand it, and it is so profound that studies by the wisest theologians will never exhaust its riches.” ‘Charles Hodge

 

“You can’t know God more than us, we were saved before you, we experienced his miracles before you and we were then like you now.” Worst of all …”you cannot each us about God because we have been where you are, and you will find yourself where we are now”. I can attest that I heard the above statements countless times over the past years. At some point, it seemed as though knowing God and having a relationship with Him was a contest. Consequently, salvation was more of a sprint and the angels kept scores. There is nothing as worse as diming a ‘lesser person’s’ walk of faith and as a result this made me shy from testifying my experiences…

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“We knew God before you”

“The gospel is so simple that small children can understand it, and it is so profound that studies by the wisest theologians will never exhaust its riches.” ‘Charles Hodge

“You can’t know God more than us, we were saved before you, we experienced his miracles before you and we were then like you now.” Worst of all …”you cannot teach us about God because we have been where you are, and you will find yourself where we are now”. I can attest that I heard the above statements countless times over the past years. At some point, it seemed as though knowing God and having a relationship with Him was a contest. Consequently, salvation was more of a sprint and the angels kept scores. There is nothing as worse as timing a ‘lesser person’s’ walk of faith and as a result this made me shy from testifying my experiences. Caught up in my feelings, one time a revelation came to me; the road to intimacy with Christ our Lord Jesus is an individual’s journey. Hence, to those that are called, chosen and believe in Him, He is a personal saviour. Thus, He stamps on it by telling Peter and the rest in Luke 18:29-30 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.” I therefore believe that salvation is an intimate affair. Christ Jesus says “Come, Follow me.” To each of us, we have different trials, various needs, several difficulties and numerous struggles. Nonetheless, collectively we all meet at the cross. If salvation was based on who came first and so who is the greatest in the kingdom of God, then Grace and love would never apply. A child can be chosen by God as an instrument of choice for His purpose and not the parent who instructed him/her on the ways of the Lord. A congregant can display more faith than the preacher who stands on the pulpit every Sunday preaching to the congregation about the very same God. The scripture talks about Christians being like children. Matthew 18:3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. They are simplehearted and helpless. They trust their fathers for all the answers. So, whether you are a grown up or child, the kingdom of God has nothing to do with I knew Him first, thus I know Him better. I believe as it is in the scripture’s salvation is a gift Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; Everything that I have come to be or to possess is not because I was/still is a ‘good Christian girl’; who exercised the fundamentals and the doctrines bestowed upon her ever since she was young. It had nothing with teachings of Christian formula that justified the means/end or equated to God’s blessings. Everything that I had before, today and in future, is attributed to the Faith I possess under the covenant of Grace. God’s work within us is different; hence, our unique giftings which results from the fruits we bear. When the Holy spirit is at work the question is in do you believe Him and are you serving Him? Its never about who ‘came first’ in His kingdom. David reminds us to testify of God’s goodness in Psalm 71:15-24 My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long though I know not how to relate them all. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvellous deeds. Even when I am old and grey, do not forsake me, my God till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens, you who have done great things. Who is like you, God? Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honour and comfort me once more. I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, Holy One of Israel. My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you I whom you have delivered. My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion. Paul further reminds us that if we are to boast about our salvation then Galatians 6:14 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

So, to whoever believes that they know God better than others and that they have walked in the very same journey as others. Then, their faith dwindled and so will the rest of us. That’s okay. I am not at liberty to change minds or convince anyone, that’s the work of the Holy Spirit. I on the other hand will live a life exempted in Christ alone, I will testify and talk of his faithfulness.

The LORD protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me.

Psalm 116:6

I am the Lord your God

“I will show my greatness and Holiness”

Our God of zeal and fiery wrath. He who makes Himself known in the sight of man and all nations. You are great and Holy. When you speak, it shall surely come to pass. Display your glory and splendour over our lives, reminding us of your sovereignty. We repent on our unfaithfulness and wicked ways. Hide not your face from us. We plead for your compassion and mercies. For we ask that you may restore our souls back to the very first love. Pour out your Spirit on us, revive us once again and heal our hearts. Precious Lord Jesus Christ may your Grace meet us at our very point of need. Bless your great and Holy name.

Amen

9 He replied, “Go your way, Daniel, because the words are rolled up and sealed until the time of the end. 10 Many will be purified, made spotless and refined, but the wicked will continue to be wicked. None of the wicked will understand, but those who are wise will understand.

Daniel 12:9-10