Valleys & Hills to Motherhood

“The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother”

They say every mother has a story to tell. Well, allow me to include you in this journey of praying for a miracle, asking God for a baby. A prayer that renewed my faith and led to divine alignment as well as enlightenment.

We welcomed our darling daughter on 12^th July at 9:25 p.m. she was overdue by eleven days. However, am believer that Jesus Christ is always on time. Therefore, anything with God’s imprint/Word on it can never be late. Our B-E-A-U-tiful princess came at the appointed date and time.

The journey to becoming a mother was not easy on my part, having suffered a traumatic miscarriage two years exactly before the birth of our daughter. Then came the ‘trying’ period in between before her conception. I can attest that this was something I never anticipated. I never once thought that I would get to a place where I would seek my Father’s presence and say Dear Lord, if it is thy will according to the desires within my heart would you please bestow me your honour and make me a mother. It seems farfetched then being that I thought babies we were made as easy as ABC and that it was all up to us the ‘babymakers’. This season of my life has brought Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” to a deeper spiritual awakening. God chose us before conception. He knew my daughter would be here, she is not an accident, each of her needs have already been met, her provisions and protection have been set in place. All under one covenant, the Lamb of God Jesus Christ.

Note, when troubles continue long, hopes have been often frustrated, and all creature-confidence fall, it is not strange if the spirit sink; and nothing but an active faith in the power, promise and providence of God will keep them from quite dying away. the height of prosperity to which, notwithstanding this, they shall be advanced: “therefore, because things have come thus to the last extremity, prophesy to them, and tell them, now is God’s time to appear for them.”,

O dry bones, Hear the Word of God Come Alive! Ezekiel 37:1-14

This prayer was made because there was a deep desire that only the creator of heaven and earth could fulfil. I desired a baby at time when my doctor was saying I was not medically fit to even carry one. Her advice was ‘wait’ at the same time there was a lot of consultation within my medical team if I should even go ahead and ‘try’. I felt deflated and hopeless after the medical review. I had to wait! I remember leaving the hospital feeling desperate. In that moment I stated my conversation with god. Why would I have this desire, yet it appeared impossible now. The Holy Spirit calmly instructed me go ahead you are ready. Contrary to doctor’s opinion. The greatest physician steps into the scene and He says “with the Father all things are possible” Matthew 19:26.

When I reflect on this period where I was actively trying for a baby, it dawns on me how human beings are limited in all capacity. More so, when you want something so bad; our walk holds a selfish perspective…and that was me. I would feel a tug in my gut when someone would tell me how they got pregnant by mistake or It just happened. It got to a point where I would just try and process how all this was happening to others and not me. Then other times, I would remember my situation was not anything and that at least there was hope since I had conceived before. I would encourage myself that there were women waiting on the Lord for years, an evidence through His Word. I also remember becoming anxious during my menstrual cycle; I would catch myself disappointed at the sight of it all. Every month would be “okay this is it” Hence, my mind would sometimes play tricks on me and I would exhibit early like pregnancy symptoms. I bought a lot of pregnancy test kits which am sure my husband saw in the bin 🤦‍. This was such a testing and trying phase, I believe at some point I was losing my sanity. I thank God for a wonderful partner, he grounded me through his patience, always relieving the pressure i felt and reminding that it will happen. That it was up to God and not us. We were just channels and vessels He uses to bring His own children in this world. We had no hand in it! However, to be honest I did drive him crazy with all the positions among other things such; as today is that day, am ovulating. All this sounds hilarious now but at that time it was a serious issue. He gave me a good man.

Anyway, my turning point came when I saw this lady, I follow on social media give a testimony on how she was expecting yet the odds were against her medically. We serve a living God, our ability to conceive rests in His hands. He alone can open and shut our wombs. Rather than rejoice on her behalf this time my heart was pained. I asked God how comes am still struggling? I had been desiring and praying this for over a year Lord. Then in that moment, the Holy Spirit rebuked me. I remember I was in a bus and tears were streaming down my face. when I reached home, I went straight to my bedroom and repented before God. As I left His presence, The Holy Spirit whispered Romans 8:28 All things work together for good. I rested my faith in Him no more letting comparison steal my joy. I stopped being crazy about becoming a mother and went back to enjoying my marriage. Building my foundation and just fostering myself spiritually. I wanted my womb blessed, but it was no longer my focal point. Months later the signs from God began backed by His Word… The Holy Spirit was on top of things, confirming everything so clearly, I thought I was moving mad. Then God put it my heart to talk to someone specific about my “trying” journey. Unbeknownst to me God had imprinted on her to look for me as well and help me in this venture. Two months in after all ‘this’ nothing happened. I was growing impatient. Thank God once again for a husband who is full of faith and supportive, he knew it would happen. Just like that in the third month from when God told to get ready and prepare. Just when we least expected, it happened.

We were expecting!!!

Children are indeed a heritage from the LORD,

and the fruit of the womb is His reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

so are children born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

He will not be put to shame

when he confronts the enemies at the gate

Psalm 127:3-5

dON’t LOOk bACk!

‘If God brought you out of a situation, stay out’

Anything that does not give you peace yet brings confusion and turmoil is not of God. When the time comes for release, the up and go moment. That window of opportunity is open….arise on your feet and run! Run like before. Run for sanity, your freedom and your awakening. For the devil is hot on your heels, he is breathing fire and he is coming after you. So, I say run for your dear life and do not attempt to look back like Noah’s wife or murmur like the children of Israelites. Perfect your Race since a generation depends on it. Where there is God; there is Peace, justice then righteousnes and above all there is Unconditional love. A love that treats us and among others: how to be kind to each other, be compassionate, be meek in our attitudes and grant Grace where our understanding is limited by experiences. Confines of our religion and dictations of our norms and culture. Show mercy even when law and society demanded of punishment by death. Because He is the epitome of one true example of how far and how great; love is willing to go and stretch for a reconciliation, adoption justification, sanctification and acceptance. He loves us. His plan is perfect, and His ways are mighty. For when He said pack it all up and leave this place, it is finished… a chapter closed. A scene shot to perfection. He is an author with the best script and a director who knows His casts to the detail. He knows how it should look in the end. Master obedience in Him, trust His word and peg your hope on His Mighty résumé. He has a plan, a way out. He will divide seas before you, slain giants with a single shot, bring down walls for you and make your enemies flea just from a sound of trumpet. He brings those in favour for your destiny. They will be angels in human form, ask for discernment to be able to tell the difference. A God who institutes relationships whether man or woman in our favour. Don’t lose sight of Him, the time is imminent. So perfect your race because the devil will never want you to rest until you reach that summit.

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7 Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.

Revelation 21:6-7

Leah: A Divinely favoured Woman

‘God loves the unloved’ Has anyone ever thought about Jacob’s first wife Leah? And would you ever imagine being in her situation? When I was growing up; I learnt about the love of story of Jacob and Rachel, while Leah was portrayed as a villain. From the beginning, scripture is intentional on how Rachel and…

by The Making of a Disciple May 18, 2020September 12, 2020

Rachel: a barren womb and a cold Heart

“There are four keys of which God has his hand, he entrusts neither with the angel nor seraphim; the clouds, the heart, the grave and the womb.” We rarely take note of how patterns of spiritual warfare can affect the lineage of a family tree. Many are the times we assume that since it…

by The Making of a Disciple April 2, 2020September 12, 2020

Be Spirit Led

There’s something about God giving you an instruction and He backs it with His Word. Romans 8:14-16 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about…

by The Making of a Disciple August 14, 2020

Be Spirit Led

There’s something about God giving you an instruction and He backs it with His Word.

Romans 8:14-16 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “ Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

Rachel: a barren womb and a cold Heart

“There are four keys of which God has his hand, he entrusts neither with the angel nor seraphim; the clouds, the heart, the grave and the womb.”

We rarely take note of how patterns of spiritual warfare can affect the lineage of a family tree. Many are the times we assume that since it affected a past family member then its normal when it occurs again. In this case, we learn a pattern trickling down Abraham’s genealogy. Third generation of infertility catches up with Jacob’s second wife who was Rachel. The first precedent is observed when Abraham and Sarah struggle for years to have a child. Despite his wife’s doubt, God who is gracious fulfils His affirmed vow to His faithful servant. At the appointed time, the promise manifested, and they had their son Isaac in old age. However, at some point before the birth of Isaac. Sarah weary of waiting, exercises her own ‘wisdom’ based on a sceptic heart. She tries to help God in speeding up the process. Hence, offering Abraham her servant Hagar. Genesis 16:1-2 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; 2 so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” At the end it is clear that man-made plans are never concrete as the results are birthed from a short-sighted perspective. Ishmael is born, his existence later breeds rivalry between the two women. The next couple we see to battle the same fate are Rebecca and Isaac. Genesis 25:21 “Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. Jacob and Esau came after twenty years of waiting.

Later in line we meet a memorable love story between Rachel and Jacob. This story is unique because the element of true love is displayed leaving no doubt. Genesis 29:20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. Nonetheless, the plot takes an interesting twist; whereas after time had elapsed and Jacob went ahead to lay claim on his prospective wife. Just like he deceived his father in giving him Esau’s blessings, his father in law duped him and handed over Leah instead. Realizing that there is no way out, he willingly agreed to work for another 7 years in exchange for Rachels hand. The depth of Jacob’s love for Rachel is undeniably deeper and beyond human explanation. The bible further describes it as the love that grew greater after he made her his wife.

However, despite her outer beauty which ‘alludes to the shining of her countenance’. Rachel’s inner beauty comes into question when she faced with the struggle of infertility. She knows she is in position of power unlike her sister Leah she has Jacob’s heart. Genesis 29:31 When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. Even though Leah could bear children, her marriage to Jacob was loveless. Roots of bitterness, strife and envy is buried inside Rachel’s heart which is directed towards her unloved sister. Her attitude seems perplexing, she has Jacobs heart and all the toiling Jacob is doing is because of her. While her sister on the other hand has nothing other than her children. Personally, this is a situation that would break any woman’s heart. To know for a fact that the father of your children has no affection towards you. Worst of all, is that he prefers another woman and, in this case, your own sister over you. It is the kind of rejection that bleeds one’s heart dry. God who is JUST sees all this and blesses Leah so that it can all balance. But Rachel’s mindset prevents her from having a happy life, she is desperate to be satisfied with becoming a mother. Jealousy and rivalry are bred between the sisters, this competition comes out evident through the naming of their children.

From a human perspective with all our fleshly desires, apart of me understand Rachel predicament. However, with more spiritual insight and wisdom allow me to say that Rachel was short-sighted, ungrateful and driven by human ambition of wanting all the glory. She lacked compassion; it was either all or nothing. My understanding is that both ladies had no option as they were bound by customs and tradition. Their father Laban had the power to exercise who gets married first, plus nowhere do we see any indication of Leah wanting Jacob. I doubt Leah or Rachel could overrule their father.

One thing stands out; Jealousy where an absence of contentment cripples the soul. Lack of satisfaction on Rachel’s part eventually mirrors the same pattern of conversation between Jacob’s grandparents Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 16:1-2). Genesis 30:1-3 When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” 2 Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” 3 Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” She was not just content with Jacob’s heart alone, she wanted desperately to rival her sister. This is revealed more on how she named the children of Jacob and her maid Bilhah. One can deduce that she was after her sister more than her husband. She painted a picture of how you can surpass me after all this… It’s a competition and I must win. From Rachel you realize physical beauty in nothing without a pure heart to accompany it. She never even loved her sister’s children. she was more concerned with what she lacked; her judgement clouded what she already had. Her spotlight was hers and hers alone. Instead she offers her maid so she can have her ‘own’ children. Eventually God remembers her, and she gives birth to her first son Joseph. But still, she lacks gratitude even before God who has been merciful to bless her. She instead names her son not with praise but with an entitled spirit ‘God will add her’. That was her expectation that God will fill her quiver with more arrows … Given her time of wait her first instinct should have been to dedicate her son to God but even at the point of delivery she still yearned to surpass her sister. We later see childbirth kills her at the birth of her second son Benjamin. I believe her approach towards her cup was half empty. Such a heart can never give thanks and praise to God. They are filled with pride for their reputation. The motive behind them asking for a blessing is to gloat towards others. They can have a whole world at their feet but will still be envious of the little their neighbour has. They have a spirit willing to die yet have what will glorify their reputation. Her physical beauty did not match her heart, which matters most.

When I look at Rachel am reminded of Hannah’s attitude while waiting. I see two ladies in similar situations however one with spiritual insights while the other is walking in flesh. The story of Leah verses Rachel is divinely ordained by a God who is most wise, holy and just. Eventually He brings out the good out of the evil. It is good to note that many of us strive for what we think will awe us just like Rachel’s heart. Thus, missed opportunity to rest in the contentment; misplaced worship hoping to find peace.

“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord. ²“Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back; lengthen your cords,strengthen your stakes.
³For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities.

Isaiah 54:1-3

“We knew God before you”

“The gospel is so simple that small children can understand it, and it is so profound that studies by the wisest theologians will never exhaust its riches.” ‘Charles Hodge

“You can’t know God more than us, we were saved before you, we experienced his miracles before you and we were then like you now.” Worst of all …”you cannot teach us about God because we have been where you are, and you will find yourself where we are now”. I can attest that I heard the above statements countless times over the past years. At some point, it seemed as though knowing God and having a relationship with Him was a contest. Consequently, salvation was more of a sprint and the angels kept scores. There is nothing as worse as timing a ‘lesser person’s’ walk of faith and as a result this made me shy from testifying my experiences. Caught up in my feelings, one time a revelation came to me; the road to intimacy with Christ our Lord Jesus is an individual’s journey. Hence, to those that are called, chosen and believe in Him, He is a personal saviour. Thus, He stamps on it by telling Peter and the rest in Luke 18:29-30 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.” I therefore believe that salvation is an intimate affair. Christ Jesus says “Come, Follow me.” To each of us, we have different trials, various needs, several difficulties and numerous struggles. Nonetheless, collectively we all meet at the cross. If salvation was based on who came first and so who is the greatest in the kingdom of God, then Grace and love would never apply. A child can be chosen by God as an instrument of choice for His purpose and not the parent who instructed him/her on the ways of the Lord. A congregant can display more faith than the preacher who stands on the pulpit every Sunday preaching to the congregation about the very same God. The scripture talks about Christians being like children. Matthew 18:3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. They are simplehearted and helpless. They trust their fathers for all the answers. So, whether you are a grown up or child, the kingdom of God has nothing to do with I knew Him first, thus I know Him better. I believe as it is in the scripture’s salvation is a gift Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; Everything that I have come to be or to possess is not because I was/still is a ‘good Christian girl’; who exercised the fundamentals and the doctrines bestowed upon her ever since she was young. It had nothing with teachings of Christian formula that justified the means/end or equated to God’s blessings. Everything that I had before, today and in future, is attributed to the Faith I possess under the covenant of Grace. God’s work within us is different; hence, our unique giftings which results from the fruits we bear. When the Holy spirit is at work the question is in do you believe Him and are you serving Him? Its never about who ‘came first’ in His kingdom. David reminds us to testify of God’s goodness in Psalm 71:15-24 My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long though I know not how to relate them all. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvellous deeds. Even when I am old and grey, do not forsake me, my God till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens, you who have done great things. Who is like you, God? Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honour and comfort me once more. I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, Holy One of Israel. My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you I whom you have delivered. My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion. Paul further reminds us that if we are to boast about our salvation then Galatians 6:14 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

So, to whoever believes that they know God better than others and that they have walked in the very same journey as others. Then, their faith dwindled and so will the rest of us. That’s okay. I am not at liberty to change minds or convince anyone, that’s the work of the Holy Spirit. I on the other hand will live a life exempted in Christ alone, I will testify and talk of his faithfulness.

The LORD protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me.

Psalm 116:6

thE caLL tO ObEDIEnce

Have you heard the saying that ‘God does not speak to be heard but to be obeyed’? Let me give you a little background.

Matthew Henry: “Love is the root; obedience is the fruit.”

Now, I come from a place where traditional authoritarian regime is the order of the day. This is where a child will always be a child despite your age. He or she should be seen and not heard. A child’s opinion is null and void 99.9%, the 00.1% is for Yes and No questions. The authoritarian figure at the given time is never wrong (I have grown up to learn that we are all human, some skills do not come with manual rather owning up to our misjudgement does not make us weak and that man is to error). As a result, we grow up hating authority. This is because at the end of the day, what was the use of being subject to it when your voice is stifled. What was the use when judgement has already been tailored beforehand. Eventually we yielded to the rules not because our spirits were wiling but because the consequences of not abiding to the last letter were very dire. Our actions may have obeyed but our spirit was never in the rules, it was rebellious all through. Being a follower of Christ I have come to learn that submission lies in the heart, and because our actions are contrary to the spirit within us. Eventually, what is within begins to manifest in the outward and our actions start betraying us. So, when we grow up we separate from the authority and charter our own paths. What we don’t know is whatever was instilled into us during the tight fist regime always come back to haunt us. Because no matter how far we run or where we hide we are never too free.

So, I spent my years planning to run and hide far away from any kind of authority. These include anything where I would be subjective to anyone as I felt like any kind of authority over me would be oppression and slavery. I wanted to be free, as my aunt would describe like a chicken which walks out of its chicken coop in the morning and comes back in the evening. Don’t get me wrong I was not planning to do anything illegal or ill-mannered, I just felt rather oppressed by the system. Adhering to orders has never been a problem to me, it’s a robotic move that I mastered to survive. People love that robotic side that takes commands to the latter and executes them as said. But it was not until I encountered God that He stripped off this survival mode side of me. God did not want to deal with my robotic side just observing his commands and feeling obligated to follow them. For this meant that there was no relationship instituted but Master -Servant relationship. John 15:14-16 You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit – fruit that will last and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.

My heart had to yearn for its saviour, an open heart ready to receive from him. A heart cannot submit to authority when it does not desire to please its Ruler. When it comes to pleasing God the body and the heart must be in tune. So, when He speaks, and we obey the heart is already in motion eager to please its creator and not just masquerading in our actions. It was through Jacobs story that God showed me my fear of being under authority. Because the models of what I considered to be authority distorted the idea I had of what authority was supposed to be over me thus leaving me hard hearted. I remember this contributed a lot in my view of marriage, therefore, I was never in a hurry to tie the knot as I was Luke warm about a man being an authority figure over a woman. But God was hot on my trails, He wanted to change my heart in authority and that obedience in him and those he sends to fulfil his purpose through us was different. That He was willing to listen to my voice when I call, and for him to make a move I had to submit and obey his instructions WHOLEHEARTEDLY. A day came two years ago, when God pushed me to a place where man describes between a rock and a hard place. I turned to that Rock of all ages, in that bathroom floor, I fell and surrendered to a point where my heart yielded to its creator who was in pursuit of me. I was in turmoil. I was losing the battle, my only hope and way out according to me and my own plans. God wanted me there, in that home, in that very work place in that very circumstance. Where He would manifest and show Himself to me. That everything that happened all through was to push me to that Rock where I fell and surrendered all to him. No more robotic life but an intentional heart ready to be used by Him. After that is when God answered me and I penned it down gRaCe AbOuNdS .

I used to have many questions about my life though some are not yet answered. God sometimes in his Grace and Mercy points out to me how if this did not happen then you would not appreciate my hand on this or that in your life. For I believe God in His wisdom and predestination of those chosen, makes sure that all that happens to us is for His Glory. Genesis 32:22-32 We see God in pursuit of the true Jacob. A God who provokes calamities in our lives for the sake of revealing our sincerity in Him. The misfortunes thrown in our paths have a way of forcing us to contend with our true feelings and the reality of our faith. Many are the times we go to God, but our hearts are in other things and therefore we miss out on God’s desire to lift us from our misery. Because our destiny lies in surrendering our control to God and submitting under His authority. I love Jacobs story because when God meets us at our lowest and most vulnerable situation our identity is revealed, we cannot hide, for the heart knows the Master. D.L. Moody says that there will be no peace in any soul until it is willing to obey the voice of God. There is beauty in obeying God. Just like the call of Moses everything pointed towards his anointing and commission in leading out the Israelites from Egypt.

“My sheep listen to my voice: I know them, and they follow me.” – Jesus Christ the Good shepherd and His Sheep

He IS iN aLl tHIngS anD tHRoUgh AlL tHinGS

I recently quit my job!

Colossians 1:17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

“Every miracle in the Bible first started as a problem.”

When God says “the time is ripe see, I have placed an open door before you (Rev 3:8),” it takes Faith wrapped in boldness to take the next step. Many are the times I believe we pray to God to change situations in our lives however when He starts making the moves we let fear cripple our belief and go back into our misery. This is because when God starts His work in us, He throws us in not so comfortable situations. He destabilizes our life as we know it, He asks as to take a leap of faith into a place of unknown or untold. I have learnt to welcome the changes in various areas of my life; while at it, it has awaken my soul with thirst for more of God. For I know His word is absolute, faith will triumph because heavenly promises are always kept.

So yes I left my job as God led me, I had worked for 3 years (Sept 2014 to Aug 2017). Where I started as an intern then moved to entry level. Truth be told according to “my plan” it was to be a short term contract. Get in, do internship as am looking for something concrete. However, God had other plans, He placed me there “temporarily” 3 years LOL! (He has a sense of Humor). In order to teach me a lot about myself and where my Faith stood (I was tested). I believe it was the best environment for my separation period. It reminds me of the story of Jacob (Genesis 32:22-32) in that solitude Jacob wrestled with God (typical human nature to fight God in everything). God was after Jacob’s heart, He wanted to lift His servant up and given Jacob’s history a fighter on the run. He wrestled with him and he yielded. God revealed Himself. Once again Jacob is compelled to give his identity but this time it is before God who is all knowing. He acknowledges truthfully and thereafter comes blessings and ownership of his life.

²⁷The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

²⁸Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,^[a]because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

Three years is a long time, I learnt that God did not want superficial faith which was bail me out of this situation kind of God. He is and will always be after my heart, not just worship but complete surrender and ownership of who I am in Him. Once again I found myself before His presence completely out of strength, on my knees crying out to him “speak you servant is listening”. I had to surrender my anxiety, be quiet and stop striving and indeed I have seen His power manifest over my life (Psalm 46:10). He fought for me in the workplace when I was unwanted… He used unexpected person to keep me in the position until He was ready to lift me to the next place of royalty. He is a God who loves His Princesses, and true to it My Father is a King.

Beginning of this year He revealed to me of the great works He was beginning to do in my life. I was going to have a grand move as it was my last year in the work place. I remember I prayed for a move as I felt limited in terms of growth. At the same time I prayed that He may open away financially for me to pursue further studies. I believe He is Faithful and His Ears are inclined to His Children cry. Put your Faith in Him and surely He will answer of even much greater things. Time has come, He has opened away when everything seemed impossible and He gave me His word surely! It has comes to pass. As I take the next step of faith I know He is already there. He has set it up for me, for there is beauty and reward in trusting in our true God. He is a God of all Seasons and all times. My prayer is that He helps me to see the blessing that am walking on. “May I never step out of my obedience walk with Him in order to get something out of His will. Because for sure I will have to stay out of God to keep it.” Its all in His Hands for His Grace covers me. That is all I know and All I need. He says He made me out nothing so I will trust Him to take care of me…Glory belongs to Him who never left my side.

Mark 9:23 Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

Welcome to School of Postgraduate!!